Touching the Wounds

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          We read the story of Thomas and we shake our heads, don’t we, and we are just disgusted by Thomas’ doubtfulness. And I know we’ve talked about Thomas here before and about faith and doubt, but you know, I think some conversations are worth having again. A couple of things about Thomas. First, I think it is really hard to blame him for doubting. All of the other disciples had seen him, they hadn’t just accepted it on faith. So that Thomas needed to see Jesus risen to believe that he had been resurrected from the dead is not a huge shocker. We’ve all been to funerals before. We’ve seen our loved ones die and be buried. I’m pretty sure most of us would have a hard time believing that any of them had come back after being dead and buried. We can’t fault Thomas too much on that, right? I mean, I don’t think Jesus even really condemned him or chastised him. He just said to Thomas, “Come here and touch me. Stop doubting and believe. Because you have seen me, you believe, but blessed are those are have not seen and yet have believed.” So it’s not like Thomas was bad for having to see Jesus to believe, but it would have been even better if he had believed without seeing.

          The second reason I don’t think we can really bash Thomas too much is that I’m pretty sure we all, all of us, have a hard time with faith, with believing this thing we have come to know as Christianity. I want to do something with you this morning. Would you all take your hymnals and turn to #882, way in the back of your hymnal. And you’ll find the Apostle’s Creed. It may be a little different than you learned it. This version just has up to date language. I’d like it if we would all stand and say the Apostle’s Creed together.

Apostle’s Creed

          Ok, you can be seated, but keep your hymnal open and look at the creed again. These are the things, regardless of denomination, that Christians say that they believe. And I want you to look through that, look at each line. Do you buy all of that? I mean, really? Not just, do you think it’s a good idea, but do you really believe that it is true? That it has happened? That if you would have been there 2000 years ago, you could have actually witnessed the virgin birth and the death and resurrection of Jesus, and then his ascension into heaven? Do you really buy that?

          Do you really believe, fully, 100% that somewhere up in the cosmos there is a massive, powerful God who is watching our every movement and changing the course of human events, both in major ways, and in small ones. That he hears every prayer of every person? Do you believe that? I mean, really? Would you stake your life on it, or the lives your children? Because guess what, people throughout history have. They have given up their lives and the lives of their families because they believed so strongly that this was true that there was no way that they could say otherwise. Even Thomas eventually lost his life as a martyr because his conviction was so strong, he was willing to die for it. And if HE was a doubter, man, what does that make us?

          The problem with American Christianity…follow me on this…I think one of the problems with American Christianity is that it isn’t persecuted enough. I think sometimes it is too easy to be a Christian. Sure there are some hard things about it, but for the most part, at least in this part of America, to be a Christian is socially acceptable. You aren’t going to generally be at risk for your personal safety if people know you are a Christian. So it is easy sometimes to just say, “Yeah, sure, I’m a Christian,” but to never really be tested on it, you know? In all likelihood, you will go through your whole life without ever having someone hold a gun to your head or threaten to kick you out of your home unless you denounce your faith. We probably won’t face that, right? And while I’m glad that we aren’t facing that kind of persecution and that we can worship feely here, that also leaves room for a lot of casual Christians. Christians who say they believe all of it, and they come to church, but they never really, truly own it in their heart of hearts, and if they are really honest with themselves, they aren’t sure they really buy this whole God thing. It doesn’t always make good, logical sense. Some parts of it seem fishy or counterintuitive. I’d like to think I believe it, but man, if push comes to shove, I’m not sure I believe it that strongly, that I’d stake my life on it. Like, I’m not sure I can say “I believe in God” with the same certainty that I can say “I believe the grass is green.” I’m not nearly as certain about God as I am about the color of the grass.

          Right? I mean, am I hitting on something here? Because if all of you out there already believe 100%, then stop me because I don’t want to make you start doubting yourself, but I have a hunch that not all of us, in fact, most of us probably aren’t there.

          And that’s ok, because this is hard. I think sometimes we pretend that Christianity is such as easy pill to swallow, but it’s not. I mean, it can get complicated. There are so many variables. And you have to believe in Christianity in such a different way. It’s not like someone can just pull something out of a box and say, “Here this is Christianity. See? It’s real.” No, Christianity is abstract. It’s fluid. It’s hard to grab hold of sometimes. And we’ve talked about this before. Maybe you’ll remember some of this, that there are two main ways that we come to understand things. The first way is the way of the modernist. And the modernist needs facts and figures and science and data to understand something. They like to be able to touch things and see things. Thomas was probably like a modernist, right? He needed to see Jesus. So for the modernist to have faith in Christianity, you have to show them something tangible. Some archeological evidence or something. The dead sea scrolls. There’s some great books out there for you modernists: The Case for Christ by Lee Stroble, More than a Carpenter by Josh MacDowell, and a lot more.

          The second way to come to understand things is the way of the postmodernist. The postmodernist needs to FEEL that things are true, more than just know that they are true. They like the worship songs. They like to really sense God’s love. I think David may have been kind of a postmodernist, you can kind of see it in his writings in the psalms. Postmodernism needs emotion and feeling to believe something is true.

          Maybe a good way to explain this is to kind of talk about how modernists and postmodernists deal with love. If you ask a modernist, “How do you know your husband loves you?” She would say, “Well, he said his vows at our wedding, he works really hard to make sure our family has everything we need, he takes me on dates, and he tells me all the time how much he loves me.” If you ask a postmodernist, they’d say, “I can feel it in his kiss, in the way he holds me, by the twinkle in his eye, and just by the way he says he loves me before we go to sleep.” Two different ways of knowing the same thing.

          And to an extent I think we all use both kinds of thinking, but I think we often lean one way or another. And when I talked before about this, I tried to please both modernists and postmodernists in the congregation. I talked about the evidence for Jesus, and there’s a lot of it out there. There’s lots of hard evidence for the existence and the deity of Jesus. And I gave lots of postmodern evidence, lots of examples of the way God lets us feel his presence and the truth of his existence. And it was all really nice. But I’m pretty sure that my previous sermon didn’t convince our entire assembly beyond a shadow of a doubt that Christ really is 100% true and that this whole Christianity thing makes sense. If I believe that sermon had that kind of power, I’d be publishing it and letting every other preacher in the world use it to convince everyone about Jesus.

          But here’s the bottom line: I know that up here in the end, all I can do is give you the options, give you what I believe to be true in my heart of hearts, and I really, really do believe it. And if I’m honest with you, some days are better than others. Everyone struggles with doubt. No one is immune. I’ll wager even Pope Benedict some days is wondering why in the world he’s wearing this goofy hat, does he really believe that strongly.

          But I really do believe this. The Apostle’s Creed, every word. I buy it. I’d be willing to bet my life on it. That’s not to say I’m any great super-Christian or whatever, there’s no special thing in my DNA that allows me to believe this when others struggle, and I don’t claim to have all the answers to all the questions. There is still stuff I struggle with. The bottom line is this: at some point I got tired of waffling. I got tired of being a casual Christian. I got tired of just saying I believed this stuff and not really knowing whether or not I truly believed it. I decided I was tired of just doing it half-way. And I read the verse in Revelation that says, “You are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So because you are lukewarm, neither hot nor cold, I am about to spit you out of my mouth.” That was some strong imagery for me. And I had to decide whether I was going to be cold or hot. Was I really going to do this Christianity thing or turn my back on it, and it had to be one or the other. No more casual Christianity. If I was going to do it, I was really going to believe. I was going to buy it, even if I don’t have all the answers to all the questions. And I did some soul searching and decided that I have enough answers to enough questions, and I have felt strongly enough about it, that I was going to buy into the whole thing, 100%, and believe with my entire heart. And maybe this was poor theology, but I kind of thought, what do I have to lose by jumping in with both feet? I couldn’t think of anything. But I was pretty sure that I would have a lot to lose if I decided to turn my back on Christianity. You know, I didn’t have all the answers up front, but I was willing to take that leap of faith and hope that someday those answers would come. And slowly but surely, God has been removing my doubt.

          I think that’s sometimes what it takes. Just a leap of faith. Just jumping, diving in. Maybe you aren’t 100% sure, but let me tell you, I think God is so big and so complicated, that if you decide to wait to dive into it until you understand God, then I’m afraid that day will never come.

          I want to challenge all of you with something. I know that maybe a lot of you are kind of at that point where maybe you’re holding back just a little bit. Maybe you’re 90 or 85% sure of this Christianity thing. Maybe you’re only 50/50, or maybe the number is even lower for you. I’d challenge you to weigh your options. I’d challenge you to decide that you don’t want to be lukewarm on this anymore. I’ve found that the greatest thing for my faith was diving in. Just diving in. I may not get a chance like Thomas to actually touch the scars of Christ until that day when I meet him in heaven, so guess what, I’ll probably never get to the point where my faith is 100% unless I decide that it’s going to be.

          Because you’ll always be able to think of questions. Doubts will always be able to creep in. I think we’ve got this notion that we need to stay back and be reserved from total, unabashed belief until we can totally buy it all. Like, I think I can understand all of it…except for…why bad things happen to good people…why God let the holocaust happen…why there is hunger and hurting in the world. And these questions keep people from giving in to God, because they can’t understand these things. And I’ll be honest, they give me a hard time, too. But at some point, at least for me, I had to give those things, those doubts up to God and say, “Look, I don’t totally get it. But I’m not going to let these things hold me back from you. You’ve shown me too much of your goodness to ignore you. I’ve got to believe in you and put my doubt behind me. I’ve got to just dive in and trust that you have the answers. I have to trust that you are good, and that someday maybe you’ll show me the answers to my questions.”

          I challenge you to dive in. Just let go. And maybe it will feel like your intellect is screaming against you. But what would happen, how would things change, if we all started living like we actually believe what we read in the Apostle’s Creed. What if we all started to buy it? 100%? That could be revolutionary. That could change the world. I hope that you struggle with this this week. I do. I hope that if you have never decided to just dive in and buy it all, 100%, that God pushes you that way. Maybe you’re not at a point yet where you are ready to do that, and that’s ok. But try to get there. It is so freeing. I have absolutely no regrets. And not only has it helped my unbelief, but just deciding that I’m going to trust God, that I’m going to just flat-out believe in him, man that’s what makes life worth living to me now. That’s why I get out of bed. When you decide to just do it, to just believe, it’s like a whole new world of God’s beauty and majesty is opened to you. You see him more and more in the little things, in the intricacies of life. It’s amazing.

          So if you find yourself on the diving board of life, struggling with whether to dive in, or climb back down the ladder, I invite you to take a deep breath, and jump. Dive in.

 

Pastor Dan Metzger

Van Buren United Methodist Church

Van Buren, Ohio