The Summer of Love: Agape Love

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          So today is the last day in our Summer of Love series, and we’re going to talk about the fourth Greek word for love. We’ve already covered eros, or erotic, passionate love, and talked about the passionate love God has for us as described in the Song of Solomon. We’ve talked about storge love, or parental love, and the privilege of being God’s adopted children, and being privy to that sort of Fatherly love that he gives. We talked about philos love, or brotherly, friendship love, and how Jesus said that if we love others, then we are his friends, and we share that philos love with him.

          Today, we’re talking about a fourth Greek word for love, and that word is agape. Agape is the most general word for love, although it has come to be a catch word for Christian or Godly love. This is the most common Greek word for love in the New Testament. It would have been used to describe how you feel about anything from your dog to your mom’s pot roast to your favorite sports team to your feelings for a particular religion or way of life.

          So like we would use the word agape for love if we said, “I love the Ohio State Buckeyes,” or “I love Sunday’s when we have a potluck,” or “I love Swiss Cake Rolls.” We’d also use it when we say, “I love being a Christian” or “I love democracy” or “I love my church family.”

          This is the word we would use mostly when we talk about love so I think it’s the one we might relate to the best. You know, when I was in youth group, my youth group leaders would always be preaching to me that the word “love” is overused and abused in our society today. It’s in all of our music and on the internet and everywhere you look, someone is talking about love, and it is being devalued. But they didn’t really have a good solution for that, other than, you know, just be careful about when you use the word.

          But I don’t think that’s really the problem. I’m not sure we can ever have too much love. The problem comes when we get confused about what type of love we are feeling or talking about. Because love is such a broad term, right? I mean, we’ve already seen that. Love can describe everything from my feelings for my wife to my feelings for my parents and my brothers and my friends to my feelings for the Buckeyes and potluck dinners and my feelings for the faith I hold so dear. I describe my feelings for all of those people and all of those things, with the word love. But of course I feel differently about Holly than I do about potluck dinners, right? Of course the love for my parents is way different than my love for the Buckeyes. It’s different. So the problem isn’t necessarily that the word love is overused, the problem is that the word “love” is confused. It is too broad in the English language. I think the Greeks had it right: love is too broad of a term, you have to have different words for it.

          But we don’t, with our fine English language, so when we use the word love, people have to look at the context in which we use the word to figure out what that love looks like. Is it romantic love? Is it brotherly love? Or is it something deeper? It’s like the words from the disco-era song: “How deep is your love?”

          I think people understand this, right? Like if you hear someone say, “I love what you’ve done with this room,” you know, because of the context, that they are not romantically attracted to the way in which the room was decorated, right? We can usually tell from the context of the conversation what type of love we are dealing with.

          But sometimes it isn’t just what someone says that determines the context, it’s what they do. When I do marriage counseling for couples, I’ll often ask a husband, “Do you love your wife?” They always say yes. But I don’t leave it at that. I assume they love their wife at some level. If the answer is no, then we’ve got some big problems on our hands. But they always say, “Yes I love her,” and I ask, “What does that look like?” Because one husband says he loves his wife, and his actions show that that is definitely the case. He goes out of his way to make her feel special. He does the little things. He is kind and considerate and still treats her as if they are dating. But another husband will say he loves his wife, but his actions don’t show it nearly as much. They spend most of their time apart. They don’t communicate. They fight constantly. There’s abuse. Both say they love their wives, and perhaps both do, but the love of one looks way different than the love of the other.

          Do you know what Christianity’s big selling point is? Anybody know? What sets Christianity apart from other religions? What makes us different from Muslims or Buddhists or Hindis or any of the other religions? Do you know?

          You should know, we used to, and sometimes still do sing it at the end of every service. They’ll know we are Christians by our…LOVE! Our love, right? That’s our selling point! That’s what sets Christians apart! That’s what makes us so different and so unique and so wonderfully attractive…in theory.

          I wonder how many visitors, how many non-Christians have heard us sing that song. I wonder how many people have heard the claim that Christians want to love their neighbors as themselves. That’s part of the greatest commandment: Love the Lord with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself, right? The greatest commandment! Jesus himself said it. And we boast about it. “Oh, I love my neighbor. I love everybody. Christians are loving. We have that agape love. That Christian love. And we just love everybody.”

          And people want to know, the world wants to know: “What does that love look like?” We have to qualify it. Love is a broad term! We claim to love the world, so what does that look like? And at different times in history, we’ve interpreted it in different ways. During the Crusade, we interpreted it to mean that if we love the world, then we as Christians should take back the Holy Land from the Muslims and kill as many as possible along the way. During the Spanish Inquisition, we loved our neighbor by burning non-believers and heretics at the stake. At the beginning of the 20th century in the American South, we loved our neighbor by making sure black and white kids didn’t go to the same schools.

          All of that was done in the name of Christianity, the religion that is different because of its love. That is the answer we have given when the world has asked, “What does Christian agape love look like?” In a lot of ways, we’ve done a rotten job. We have not loved our neighbors as ourselves. Perhaps the worst thing we have done is as bad now as it has ever been. We have become complacent and ignored our neighbor. If we believe in Jesus, and if we believe in what he has said, and if we believe that he is the only way to the Father – those aren’t my words, those are his – if we believe that, and we do not share the good news with our neighbor, with our friends, with our relatives, with everyone we meet, then that is a tragedy and a failure of Christian love.

          A Christian, a true Christian, loves like a Christian. They WILL know we are Christians by our love, and they’ll know we are hypocrites by our complacency. Do you remember the scripture that was read for us earlier? Jesus asks Peter, “Hey Peter, do you love me?” Peter says, “Yeah.” Jesus says, “Feed my lambs.” This goes on three times. Peter, do you love me? Yes Lord, you know I love you! Tend my sheep. Peter do you really love me? Lord, you know everything, and you know that I love you. Feed my sheep.

          Do you hear what Jesus is driving at? Do you love me? Yes? Then love others. Do you love me? You do? Then take care of one another. Really love your neighbor. Go the extra mile. Does anyone know where that phrase comes from? Go the extra mile?

          I’ve gotta share it with you. Back in the days of Jesus, the Romans occupied the region that is today Israel. Sometimes soldiers would be ordered to go from one place to another, and not every soldier got his own personal horse to carry things. Roman armor was heavy. And the Romans thought, why should I carry this stuff all the way to where I’m going when I can just order some Joe Schmo to carry it for me? So the Romans made a law dictating that solders could force someone to carry their load for them for up to 1000 paces, about a kilometer and a half, or a mile. No one wanted to be forced to carry anything. But Jesus addressed this issue in his sermon on the mount. Listen starting in chapter 5 verse 38.

"You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.'But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

 "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighborand hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

          Folks, that’s what Christian love is supposed to look like. That’s agape love at its finest. Can I be bold and frank with you? This church does a fantastic job with loving one another inside the walls of this church. When you come through those doors on a Sunday morning, there is no doubt that you can feel the love in this place. But the people who really need to feel this love aren’t here this morning. And the answer isn’t, “Well, then, they need to come so they can experience Christian love!”

          That’s not the answer. It’s not their fault for not coming. It’s our fault. It’s our fault for failing to show them what Christian agape love looks like outside of the walls of the church. It’s our fault for not loving our neighbor. It’s our fault for not going the extra mile or turning the other cheek or loving our enemies. We are called as Christians to a radical love that goes against every fiber of our being. It’s the thing that sets us apart and makes us different and causes others to want to know why we are different. It’s not that Christians are better than others; it’s that Christians love in a radical way.

          If you tell others you are a Christian, but you don’t act any different than anyone else at the office and you fail to show love to the guy who always gets picked on or the boss that always picks on you, then you have not shown radical love, you have shown ordinary love, and you have lost the thing that makes you different as a Christian.

          If you tell others you are a Christian but you only hang out with other Christians and people of the same social status that you belong to, then you have not shown radical love, and you have lost the thing that makes you different as a Christian.

          If you tell others you are a Christian, but you only look out for number one, and your priority is yourself, and you fail to sacrifice for others, then you have not shown radical love, and you have lost the thing that makes you different as a Christian.

          We are called to a radical love. An agape love. A love that cares for our enemies and the people we really can’t stand. A love that goes the extra mile, even in the literal sense when necessary. A love that does not retaliate, but responds with kindness. That’s what makes Christians different, or at least, that’s what it’s supposed to be.

          What are you doing to show radical love? The word is asking you, “What does that agape love look like?” They’re looking to see the context that surrounds your claim that you love your neighbor. They want to see, how deep is your love?

          The greatest example we have of what agape love is meant to be came from Jesus, who was mocked, and persecuted, and beaten, and murdered. And he didn’t retaliate. He didn’t get even. He came back to show them love. He was willing to die. He was willing to have his blood spilt and his body broken.

          And as a symbol of this sacrificial love, on the night before his death…(communion)

Pastor Dan Metzger

Van Buren United Methodist Church

Van Buren, Ohio